I Put On My Robe And Wizard Hat

A friend sent me the following excerpts. Read on, that is if you don't mind a little toilet humor.

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 C*ck of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

***

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

***

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

***

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables...Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause)
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach...sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on...I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.

It doesn't really matter if it's geniune or not, it's still so damn hilarious.

Who You Gonna Call?

What kind of childhood would I have had if the Ghostbusters weren't part of it? I loved the movie, the cartoon even more (my favorite episode being the one where there was this huge battle between Vampires and Werewolves...probably why I found Underworld so endearing). My favorite GB-related memories, though, would have to be those involving the toys, made popular by Kenner. I remember always looking forward to the ads in between Uncle Bob's Lucky 7 Club every Sunday, just to have a glimpse of the latest "merchandise". I kind of miss those days.

Newsarama recently published news of a comicbook continuation of the 80's cult classic, whose story takes place six months after the first movie. It's scheduled for release on February of next year. As much as I would like to rekindle my desire for everything Ghostbusters, I think I'd have to pass on this one. Maybe my memories are just too great to have a GB comic ruin them...let's just say I've learned my lesson with Transformers Armada. But I'll never really be sure until it comes out, will I? Well, If the reviews are good, I can always consider investing on the TPB anyway.

It is Confirmed!!!

The worst political nightmare has become a reality. Fernando Poe Jr, affectionately known as FPJ, is running for president of the Republic of the Philippines in the May 2004 elections. May the good Lord have mercy on this country.

Maybe it's the Heat

I just couldn't think of something interesting enough to write about lately, which explains the lack of recent updates. Lame excuse, I know, but it's the truth. The creative juices seem to have dried out eversince Monday's fire. Plus, the temperature here in the office has been a bit off from the norm (it's a little too warm for my taste, being the mountain man and all). Oh well, hopefully tomorrow (yup, I'm coming to work tomorrow) the inspiration kicks in and my brain'll be a bit more...wet. *smirk*

Look at that Guy!

The title is to be said in a thick Baguio Accent for the full effect. Taking after Ger's Blast from the Past post, I've also decided to feature my La Salle ID pic.

Behold, 140 pounds of fresh high-land meat! I had just arrived from Baguio that morning. Quickly changed into my long sleeves, put my most decent tie on, and smiled for the camera. I know, it's a sorry excuse for a smile. If memory serves me right, I had been keeping in mind a tip given to me by one of the best "smilers" in my circle of friends: "Just breathe out when you're about to start smiling! You'll look better." The result? A pair of really flared nostrils on top of a pathetic grin to complement my stupid hairdo. Ah, the good old days.

Anyway, if you're a DLSU alumnus, click here to access your freshman photo. Note that the link initially points to an invalid page. Just replace the X's in the URL with your student ID, then refresh.

Why I have hope for the Philippines

By Franco Varona
INQ7.net Commentary

Editor's note: The following essay was a letter written by Franco Varona for his mother, Candy Varona. It is in reaction to a Korean student's essay about the Philippines which has been making the rounds on the Internet.

I LIVED in the Philippines for a grand total of two-and-a-half years after growing up in Vancouver for a majority of my life. I finished off high school in Manila, then went on to college there for one semester.

I left Manila in the beginning of 1999 for Syracuse, but something happened to me during my short stint in Manila -- I began referring to it as "home." My brief stay in the Philippines had affected me so deeply that I have subsequently geared the rest of my life toward helping the country out.

I took up International Relations, with a concentration in Foreign Policy, War and Conflict Resolution -- because I believed that a deep knowledge of all three of those aforementioned subjects can and will help the Philippines eventually. Before living in the Philippines, my motives were selfish and self-serving. I wanted to be a lawyer to make money, or be a journalist so I could, in my own way, shape the world through my words. But living there and getting to know the country intimately helped me develop a love for the country that can only be compared to the love I have for my family. Now, I have every intention of using that degree to its fullest potential in any way I can for the country.

Even though my birthplace is Canada and I spent my formative years in the US, the Philippines has somehow found its way to my mind and my heart. And I say "my mind" because I see the Philippines as a challenge, not as a sinking ship. And I believe there is a whole generation of young Pinoys that feel the same way as me.

The Korean essay was right in some ways -- sometimes I meet up with second-generation Filipino-Americans and they simply do not care. They don't identify with the Philippines and perceive it to be a dirty, corrupt society. Although initially annoyed when I speak to these types of people, I eventually realize that it's not their fault -- they have lived in a developed nation all their lives and know no better. I myself used to be like that before moving back.

But you know what the Korean essay didn't mention? It happens with all second- and third-generation immigrant kids living in developed countries. Although I have met many Fil-Ams who don't wish to go back home, I also have met many Korean-Americans, Japanese-Americans, even Irish-Americans who don't have any connection to home. There is love for the Philippines -- the Korean essay was just looking in the wrong places.

Do you want to know where national pride is? It's in every Pinoy's face on the streets of Manila, Cebu, Davao, or any other place in the Philippines. Life is hard for Filipinos -- I see that everytime I'm home. But there is a mutual love shared between Pinoys. They enjoy the simplest of the simple things of everyday life -- from the fishball vendor dancing outside a nightclub in the wee hours of the morning to the late night security guard that wakes up just to give you a nod and a smile. Although generally the country has come under hard times, the Pinoy has somehow found a way to survive, and do it with a smile.

When I go back to the Philippines, I don't see the jaded looks of misery I see in the streets of North America. I see in every Pinoy's face a glint of hope -- that everything can only get better from here on out. National pride is also in today's college student -- today's young working Filipino. I have been lucky enough to have run into a rather large, very motivated group of young Filipinos outside of the Philippines that harbor an immense love for the country. I've seen these people in college, I've hung out with them in different cities and among these young Filipinos, there is one prevailing theme. They have goals, they have passion, and they are driven to succeed.

Sure, they may spend a few years out of the Philippines after schooling, but they will go back. And when they do, Mom, I promise you a Renaissance. These are the people that will lead our country into better times -- these are the people that will bring back with them the knowledge and the drive to motivate others. These are the people that will bridge the gap between the "masa" and the rich. These are the people that will take that glint of hope in every Pinoy's eye and create a wildfire of productivity and efficiency.

The Philippines is still, by definition, a young country. There have been mistakes made in the past, but we will learn, won't we? It's just human nature. I don't look at the Philippines as a country that "was" one of the richest in South East Asia and now is one of the poorest -- I look at the Philippines as the country that has the largest upside.

Just be patient, and watch as the younger generation moves into place. You will see a more educated, less selfish government take the seat of power. You will see plans put into effect that were formulated and perfected which were fueled by years of anger against the poverty we now see. A new Philippines will emerge soon, and soon we won't have to bear the pity of a Korean student. I can promise you that much mom, because I know I'm one of the many that will be working toward that.

What A Way to Start the Week

I had quite the interesting morning. A general evacuation of our office building was conducted around a little past 9 AM today. Apparently, a building room (outside our company's jurisdiction, if I may point out) caught fire because of a few sacks of combustible material contained therein. What material, I do not know, but the thick smoke had seeped through the building's exhaust system, spreading into and clouding the lower floors (including ours). Hence, the general evac. For safety reasons, power has been disabled on the east wings of each floor (by this I mean each floor occupied by Globe) until Thursday. Normal operations are obviously crippled, but it's still business as usual down here. Some of us (those whose function aren't too critical as of the moment) have to go on forced leave though, to give way to more important tasks. As I write this, however, I'm still uncertain if I am to be included in the this roster. Updates on the situation later, if and when they become available.

Sequels Always Suck

Creature art courtesy of Creatures in My Head.

Value

To realize the value of a sister: Ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.

~ Author Unknown

'Nuff Said

Salary and OT pay.

Christmas bonus a month ahead of schedule.

200 peso reward for complete attendance.

Free buffet this afternoon.

I love this day.

Hellboy

Though I haven't really had the time to sit down and read any of the Hellboy books, I hear they're really good, and Mike Mignola's art is kick-ass (well, it always is). News of the silverscreen adaptation of the Dark Horse classic is pretty old, there is now, however, a definite date for its theatrical release: 04/02/04. This gives me exactly 143 days from today to brush up on my Hellboy knowledge. This will give me more or less an idea of what to expect. Besides, I don't like being in the dark when it comes to comic-based movies...helps me to appreciate them more. My problem is, I don't know anyone who can lend me some material, so a little help in this regard would be very much appreciated (paging Jon, Ger, and Richard).

I came across this movie poster through CBR. The "semi-silhouette-with-metallic-logo-and-dark-clouds-in-the-background" look seems to be a growing trend. Anyway, you can hardly recognize Ron Perlman (TV's Beauty and the Beast) with the red skin and cut-off horns (well, you actually can't recognize him), but I read he did a pretty good job of playing "the paranormal investigator from hell". He seems to be adept at that, playing characters that don't require him to use his own face I mean. We'll just have to wait and see then. 143 days and counting.

Tweaker

Spent the better part of my free time "tweaking" stuff here and there, from my blog and its comments section to my phone's headset. I don't know...my OC-ness seems to be at an all time high since yesterday. Well, I guess I'm just really fond of tinkering with all kinds of things, which is probably why I got a computer-related degree. Speaking of computer-related, I've bookmarked a number of references for HTML coding, which will come in handy while I'm still in the tweaking mood. Also, I just recently discovered how to work with stylesheets and it's been really exciting so far (sheesh, I sound like a geek). It makes designing my pages a lot easier. Hopefully, I'll also get to incorporate some Flash effects in the future. But that's a little too far ahead to plan right now. One step at a time.

Reunion

Richard couldn't have said it any better, "Seeing Mon and Bryan go at it like the giddy little boys that they were and still are, makes the night more interesting."

Last night turned out to be a lot better than what Pi and I had initially planned. It felt really good to see the TLS people again, especially the priceless expressions on their faces when they saw Pats (Yep, she's back...we picked her up last Tuesday at NAIA, just in time for their Grandmother's birthday celebration on the same night).

(Clockwise from bottom-left): Joan, Pats, Gerwin, Bernie, Pi, Me, Mon, Richard, Kendrick, Sarge, Peejay, Maan, Zane, and Meg.
(Clockwise from left): Chester, Toffer, Mitch, Pao, Sarge (again), Ivan, Ping, Djong, Ayeen, Gerwin (again), and Ben.
Add a couple more people and we could've occupied the entire second floor. Probably in the next reunion, but somebody else has to plan it this time. Anyway, not in the pictures are Erman (uber-photographer and favorite kapre, he's also the one taking the pictures), and couples Nao and Onins, Bryan and Amy (they left early). By the way, I just noticed that Gerwin seems to be fond of eating ice while having our pics taken. Hwe he he he. Visit his blog for more photos.

Pressure

Well, I guess having a Comments section AND a TagBoard at the same time is a wee bit redundant. Besides, since Jon and Gerwin have suspended the boards in their respective blogs, I might as well do the same here. Gaya-gaya ako eh (I'm such a copycat).

The Weekend News

Watched a total of three movies (four if I include Spider-Man on DVD) over the weekend. Some thoughts:

• Uptown Girls: Nice, cute, feel-good movie. All I can say about this film is, Dakota Fanning, at her age, is such a terrific actress. She caught my attention in I Am Sam trailer. Though I didn't get to watch said movie, I found find her amusing in this one. Brittany Murphy, too.



• Identity: If you're into suspense and gore, this one's for you. It isn't full of just that, however. I give this a 9/10 for a good story and fantastic screenplay. And I love the twist. This is guaranteed to keep you squirming in your seats.



• The Matrix Revolutions: What can I say? "Woohoooooo" probably sums it all up. Amazing, amazing film, though I was left with a couple of unanswered questions from Reloaded. But what the hell, it was still great. Definitely going to watch it again. Just one last thing: The Wachowskis' wild imagination + Dragonball Z = Probably the most amazing fight sequences in the history of live-action movies.

Other upcoming movies I'm looking forward to next year: Return of the King, Punisher, and of course, Spider-Man 2. Oh yeah!

I'm Baaaaaa-ack...

Feels good to be back in front of my terminal again. Been out for training the last four days. Was a bit tiring, but I had fun. Learned a lot. And besides, breakfast, lunch, and snacks were free. Now, for some updates:

1. My car has been fixed. Yes, fixed, which means it was really broken last Friday. Some small pieces inside the key slot were apparently damaged because the key was taken out while still in ACCESSORIES, conveniently labeled ACC in said key slot (for the benefit of those who do not drive, you are supposed to take the key out while on LOCK, not on ACC).

   Simple proof: Frank and the guards from next door were able to push my car back into the garage WITHOUT a key, which simply reinforces the fact that the key slot wasn't really on LOCK, because if it were, the steering wheel would be locked (duh).

   Well, I'm sure as hell I didn't have anything to do with the problem. The car was already out of the garage when I couldn't start it. Anyway, thanks to Pi's dad, a kind mechanic was able to do a temporary fix the same night. With the use of a screwdriver from my trusty macho tool, I could already use my car (actually, anybody with a screwdriver would've been able to use my car). Damn key slot was fixed by the following morning. Nef-mobile was back to normal by lunch time. Cost me Php 850.00 for everything.



2. Watched Equilibrium recently (bought the DVD at UM). I was suprised at how good a film it turned out to be. Makes me wonder why it didn't get that much attention when it was being played here. I particularly liked the concept of the "Gun Katas" (not katas which means juice in Filipino...Katas -- japanese -- referring to a prearranged series of movements). It's not in every action movie that you get to see the hero shoot the crap out of the bad guys while staying on the exact same spot. Makes you wanna go "Whoah!" ala Keanu Reeves. And, I must say, Christian Bale makes for a cool action character. He's an excellent choice to don the Year One Cape and Cowl.



3. In keeping with my promise to myself of refraining from using the elevator when going up, I consistently climbed eight floors (from the 20th up to the 28th) everyday during my training this past week. My Thursday climb was the highlight of my stair-conquering career. I went up all 28 floors to our training facility that day. Crazy isn't it? But it felt real good afterwards. Haven't weighed myself yet though like I originally planned. I was supposed to do so on the first of this month, remember? I guess I'm a bit afraid to know that I haven't lost what I intended to lose. Well, better late than never, like whoever coined this cliche always says. This afternoon, most probably.
   
   
4. Added a comments feature powered by Haloscan just today. Figured it wouldn't hurt. Besides, it's free, and it'll give people the chance to comment on individual posts. My next add-on? Probably a photo gallery, if and when I find good code. And until I have my own digicam, I have no real reason to hurry anyway. I think Jon's and Ger's blogs would benefit more from this though.

More later. My brain seems to be extremely low on resources.