2.24.2004

To Hell with FPJ

News I came across yesterday: Poe finds intellectual challenge daunting.

You mean people expected otherwise? He's a fucking high school drop-out for crying out loud! A. High. School. Drop-out. Of course he'll find intellectual challenge daunting. He'd probably pop a vein and die if he tried to actually use his brain and push it beyond its current limits (which aren't that far out to begin with). But guess what, people will still vote for him.

"I am honest" he says, and assumes that is enough to make him the best bet for President. But honesty alone just won't cut it, will it? Will his honesty alone ensure the total elimination of corruption in government and restore peace and order in society? Will his honesty alone give jobs and provide homes to the thousands of poor people he claims to fight for? Will his honesty alone restore investor confidence in this country? To hell with it all if it will. He is as two-faced as GMA! After swearing that he will never enter politics, look at where he is now. He lied about having an illegitimate child, only to turn the people around later on and say how proud he was of his son. He's a bloody actor...acting is just a better-sounding term for lying.

The logic of it all escapes me. It's so damn obvious, but they just don't (or won't) see it: nothing good or beneficial will come out of FPJ's presidency. He will just fuck things up a lot more. Regardless, his followers will say, "that's not true, he has brilliant people in his political team to back him up" and will still vote for him.

Brilliant my ass.

If they're so brilliant, they should've gone and supported a different candidate. Do all these FPJ loyalists honestly think that Angara, Maceda, Enrile, and Co. (who are all former Erap and Marcos cronies by the way) are "behind him all the way" because of his 'qualifications'? Hell no! The fact of the matter is, there is no one more equipped, no one more 'qualified', to be the ultimate puppet than FPJ. That's why they're behind in the first place! You don't see puppeteers puppeteering from the front, do you? That would defeat the purpose. Puppeteering is always hidden, unseen...always made to look like an illusion.

In addition, FPJ's failure to lay down his platform or any concrete plans is extremely annoying at same time depressing. If he thinks assembling a 19-strong team of experts in economics and governance makes the situation all that better, or him the better choice for president, he's lacking a lot more in the mental department than I thought. The organization of such a team is an instant admission of his incapability. But still, he insists on running. And despite all his shortcomings, people will still vote for him.

But knowing that people will vote for him shouldn't spell the end for trying to at least prevent that from happening. I believe there is an unwritten law, that obliges those of us who do understand and know the consequences of an FPJ presidency, to educate or enlighten those who do not. Easier said than done, but it's worth the effort if it means saving this country from going to the dogs.

2.20.2004

Corporate Funnies

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.

"I just need one copy."

Lesson I - Never, never assume that your Boss knows everything.

***

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window:

"I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damnchecking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Lesson II - If you are rich, you can get away with almost anything.

***

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, Then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......?!?" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

***

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, Who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool!

The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."

Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen.

***

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each."

So the eager senior manager shouted, I wa nt the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries." *Pfufffff*, and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." *Pfufffff*, and he was also gone."

The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch."

Lesson V - Always allow the boss to speak first.

2.17.2004

And A Good Time Was Had By All...

...borrowing the words of my Big, White, and Hairy friend.

My Valentine's officially started on the 13th. The Goddess Kurdapya and I had planned earlier in the week to go to the Lovapalooza event at Roxas, but due to preoccupations at the office until about 7 PM (the event starts at 8), we had to cancel. Traffic was murder by the time we got off from work. I was lucky enough though to find parking at G4 in Makati (I guess the fact that it was a pay day kind of negated all that bad luck one is supposed to have). Had dinner at Friday's then met up with Kats (Pi's bestfriend) and her hubby, RJ, shortly after that. Spent the remainder of the evening eating ice cream, and catching up on stuff over coffee.

Slept in for a couple extra hours Saturday morning (which I haven't done in quite a while). Dropped by Petals Galore in La Salle to buy some flowers for Pi (which I also haven't done in quite a while) before proceeding to her place, where we had lunch. In the afternoon we had her Pentax camera brought to this specialty shop in Cubao, and then I took her for a refresher driving course at The Fort. In the evening, her family was kind enough to drag me along for dinner at Timog in QC (I forget the place, but the food was great). We were supposed to go KTV-ing at Music 21 after that but alas, the damn place was jam-packed. Left with nothing better to do, we just decided to go home. I spent a couple more hours with Pi at their residence before officially calling it a night.

And that was it...my busiest Valentine's so far. Might not be as romantic as you would expect, but hey...a good time was still had by all.

2.10.2004

23

I guess you just really get to that point in your life when you stop, and come to realize you're not as powerful as you think, not as prepared or brave or confident, not as smart or wise as everybody around you says you are. You realize that you're not as equipped to handle all of life's pressures as you believe you are. Five or six years down the road you'll have all these plans, but find out they're not as achievable as you thought they were. You'll find out you're not as ready to take them on as you convinced yourself you were five or six years before that. It scares the hell out of me.

Twenty-three years today. I'm exactly two years short of being a quarter century old. At this age I thought I would've already known enough. But the fact of the matter is I don't. There are a lot of things I still don't know, most of which I probably won't at all. And that scares me even more. I do not know what's in store for me in the years to come. All I know is I'm sure as hell going to try and make something great of my life, one day at a time. I owe my family and those who believe in me that much.

My Grandfather texted me this today (yes, my Lolo is that cool):

It's very important to define success for yourself. If you really want to reach for the brass ring, just remember that there are sacrifices that go along. We write our own destiny. We become what we do.
The timing is perfect, and coming from a man who's lived for more than 80 years, the message becomes all the more special.

A couple of things have happened recently that sort of rattled my perception of life. It's all good though, it made things a lot more clearer for me. Quarter-life crisis? You can call it that. You can call it whatever you want. The point is it's just a phase, and I will overcome. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. The fear of what lies ahead will always be there. It's not something you get rid of completely. But at least I have you guys (you all know who you are) to give me those words of encouragement and that much needed pat in the back.

2.09.2004

So Far Away

This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we fought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I’m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

~ Staind

2.06.2004

A Guy Can Dream


Besides, it's good to exercise one's Photoshop skills once in a while. *Sigh* I miss the TLS days.

2.03.2004

Who's The Girl?

You tell me. At the moment, she's just known as The Double A Paper Girl (Double A is a popular brand of printing paper in the Netherlands, so I hear).

If you can find out what her name is (and also find some additional pictures while you're at it), I will be eternally grateful.

What's all the fuss about? Nothing really. Let's just say I got hit by this so hard I'm pretty obssessed with her at the moment.

***

I'm sure as hell you'll be playing that ad more than once. Oog!

2.02.2004

It's Not Easy Being Green...

...but some things are just worth posting.

When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember what I chose.
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My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
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Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".
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There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.
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Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
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There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
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Virginity can be cured.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
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Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
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A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing......
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Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.
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Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.
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Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.